sweet hymns of joy.

Today started with a fight. I wanted to go to church. Vic, having just got off a 24 hr shift at the fire station, did not. I wanted to be on time for church. My sleepy husband had other plans.

Once we made it to service we sat in the back so as to not disturb others. I was distracted by the comings and goings of mamas with babies, potty breakers, and those who just couldn't keep still. We sat next to a family with an adorable daughter wearing the sweetest little bonnet. She smiled at us throughout service, and I happily smiled back. 

During worship I swayed and sang aloud; as we sang "O Come Let Us Adore Him" I imagined Xavier singing along with a chorus of other littles--my friends' twin daughters, another loss mama's son, two other little girls whose parents miss them dearly this Christmas--and many other babies whose parents I've gotten to know since last year. I wept a curious cocktail of sorrow and joy. Sorrow that my son isn't here, but joy that we--me, Victor, Xavier--can adore Christ the Lord together even when we are separated by death, for now.

After service we scurried off for lunch and attended a 9 Lessons and Carols service with a group of friends. I sat in a gorgeous theater and listened to the word of God expressed in song, both the traditional hymns and originals. They sang about the Light of the World, the Prince of Peace, and the Rose E'e Blooming. I watched my dear friend from childhood sing as a member of the choir and it blessed me to see her glorifying the Lord in such a beautiful way.

Once the concert ended we rushed home to finish last minute preparations for dinner wit and family friends. A frazzled and disorganized mess, I greeted our first guests with a smile and flour covered hands.

Tonight our home was filled with so many sounds. There was laughter and crying and babies and toddlers. Spilled cookie sprinkles and wine stained glasses. Music and reflection. Candles and light.

And joy. So much joy.

It's quiet now, aside from the murmur of the football game playing on the television. As I lie here snuggled on the couch in my pajamas, I am so thankful for friends, family, and a reason to come together each year and celebrate the season of Advent. Our King has come, and he will come again.

"Sweet hymns of joy
In grateful chorus raise we
Let all within us
Praise His holy name
Christ is the Lord,
Then ever! ever praise we!
His pow'r and glory, evermore proclaim!
His pow'r and glory, evermore proclaim!"