his gospel is peace.

A few months after we got married Victor and I had our first big fight. I texted a friend who was a few years further into marriage and we met for coffee. As we sat across from each other in a Panera I cried and shared my hurts, my fears, and ultimately the things I was most worried and anxious about in that season of life. My friend looked at me matter-of-factly and declared, "Well, we know what Jesus says about worrying, right?" I thought for a moment, then looked back at her inquisitively.

"Don't."

Don't worry about a thing

Her one-word answer references Jesus' message found in Matthew 6 where he exhorts his audience not to worry about tomorrow. He tells them to look to nature--to the birds in the air and the lilies in the fields--as evidence that He is fully capable of taking care of their needs. It's so easy to forget this, though, isn't it? Especially for those of us who want to know the plans, and who find comfort in predictability.

So much of our grasping for control evokes a false sense of peace. It's our own bastardized version that is conditional on if we can prevent bad things from happening to us, or how well we can prepare to protect ourselves and our loved ones when they inevitably do. So I ask: how can we relinquish our false sense of control and abide in the peace of Christ?
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice...do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus," (Phil 4:4-7). 
This verse came to mind repeatedly after Xavier died. I had a horrible time sleeping in the first few weeks after he was born, and would lay in bed for hours weeping and worrying about the next day. I ached for a peace that surpassed all understanding, but my previous peace-making efforts kept coming up short. I tried to pack my schedule during the day with lunches and coffee dates, time at the gym and tidying the house. I stayed busy during the day, and made sure I always had something to look forward to; in my mind this was the best way to cope with the anxiety and fear that crept up on me so cunningly.

Longing for peace 

But there was so much out of my control at nighttime. Even when I could shut my eyes for a few moments, I would be awoken by phantom baby kicks, or intense pain in my breasts, still swollen from preparing to nurture my baby. I would shoot up in a panic, and then the nightmare would reveal itself as reality: those weren't kicks, just gas. My baby had really died and I wasn't pregnant anymore. On those long and restless nights, how I longed for transcendent peace. More than anything, I wanted to bypass the pain of grief, speed through my healing, and get back to normal.

Christ as our 'Shalom'

I know now how foolish a desire that was. Grief has transformed my ideas about what peace is. I have learned that peace is not simply the absence of war or conflict. It is the very presence of Shalom. It is God with us--Immanuel. It is Christ, come to us, as a whole and complete sacrifice on our behalf. He has conquered the grave, and even when it seems to win here on Earth, I can rest assured that the Peace of Christ reigns supreme.The guys at The Bible Project  have released word study videos for each week of Advent and explain peace so much better than I can put into words; take a look at their word study video here (~4min):

Towards the end of the video above, the narrator states that "True peace requires taking what's broken and restoring it to wholeness." The Gospel story is just that, my friends: God has taken this broken world and restored it through sending His son as a human child, to live and breathe on this earth as a man, to die as atonement for our sins, and to rise again on our behalf that we could once again be called sons and daughters of God. And, even more personally, he has taken my broken mama heart and is continuing to restore it to wholeness, day by day.

As this Advent season comes to a close, I pray your heart can rest in the fact that our Hope, Love, Joy and Peace came down to earth as a baby, wrapped in swaddling cloths lying in a manger. And thus began a new and glorious morn.

May the Peace of Christ be with you all this Christmas,
T.

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